Going Back to Work After Baby? 10 Honest Tips for New Moms

The date is on the calendar. Your maternity leave is almost over, and your stomach is in knots.

You are thinking about leaving your baby with someone else. You are wondering if you will cope. You are worried about your body, your energy and your job. And you are probably feeling guilty about every one of those thoughts.

If this is you, please know that almost every working mother feels this way. Here are ten honest tips to make the return a little easier.

1. Let yourself feel it

It is okay to feel sad, anxious, relieved, excited or all of these together. Feeling happy to return to work doesn't make you a bad mother, and feeling heartbroken doesn't make you weak. Both are normal.

2. Start planning a few weeks early

Don't wait for the last week. Decide who will look after your baby, whether that is family, a trusted helper or a creche. Visit the place if you can, and ask questions about feeding, naps, hygiene and how they will reach you.

3. Do a trial run

A week or two before you start, try a practice morning. Get up, get ready, drop the baby and leave at your work time. It shows you what takes longer than you expected, and it helps your baby get used to the new routine.

4. Talk to your manager early

Ask about your first week. If possible, discuss a gradual return, a few work-from-home days or flexible hours. Many workplaces are more open than you think, but only if you ask. Be clear about what you need, and put the agreement in writing.

5. Plan your baby's feeding

If you are breastfeeding, talk to your doctor or a lactation consultant about how to manage it while you work. Some mothers express milk at work, and some change the schedule slowly. If you need to pump, ask your workplace for a clean, private space and a break. Your baby's caregiver should know how to store and give the milk safely. Fed is best, and whatever works for you and your baby is the right choice.

6. Keep mornings simple

Prepare as much as you can the night before: clothes, the baby bag, lunch and documents. Keep a small checklist. A calm morning makes the whole day feel lighter.

7. Pack smart for yourself

Your work bag now needs more than a laptop. Keep a spare top, a few snacks, a water bottle, wipes and your own comfort items. If your body is still recovering, or your first period has come back, keep spare pads or period panties and a spare pair of underwear in your bag or desk. It saves a lot of stress.

8. Look after your health

Eat regular meals and don't skip breakfast. Drink water through the day. Sleep when you can, even if the baby wakes at night. If you feel very tired, dizzy, pale, or low for more than two weeks, speak to your doctor. Tiredness is common, but it can also come from low iron or other causes that are easy to check.

9. Share the load at home

Going back to work does not mean doing two jobs. Talk to your husband and family about who handles meals, night wake-ups, laundry and baby care. Make a simple schedule, and be specific about what you need. "Please do the night feed on Tuesdays" works better than "help me more".

10. Be kind to yourself

You will have rough days. A meeting will run late, the baby will cry at drop-off, or you will feel you are failing at everything. That doesn't mean you are doing it wrong. Give yourself time. Most mothers say it gets easier in a few weeks.

Things that can help your mind

Keep a photo of your baby on your desk or phone

Ask the caregiver for a short update or photo at lunch

Plan something small to look forward to when you get home, like a cuddle, a walk or a hot cup of tea

Talk to other working mothers. Most are glad to share what worked for them

Watch for these signs

Please talk to your doctor if, after a few weeks, you notice:

Feeling very sad, hopeless or numb most of the day

Trouble sleeping even when the baby sleeps

Strong anxiety, or panic attacks

Not being able to care for yourself or your baby

Any thoughts of harming yourself

This can be treated, and asking for help is a sign of strength.

A kind reminder

You are not choosing between being a good mother and being good at your job. You can be both, and you do not have to be perfect at either. Your baby needs a mother who is supported, rested and cared for.

Where Dreamease can help

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This article is for general information. It doesn't replace advice from your own doctor.